Why won't you play If I Had a Million Dollars?It makes our brains ooze out our noses. In addition to that, it got played completely to death on our station. Sorry. We don't do it to be mean.
What's the deal with you guys?We'll paint any car for $149.99!
Is that the Ninety-one point thing, the, uh, public station?No, you clueless dickhead. I know you've never heard of it, but it's the college station that the students run. The one you scan right past on your way to the Country Club. God! Get your head out of your ass! Jesus H. Christ on a train!
Where do babies come from?My Babies Room, PA. We learned this from Georgeen Hultgren, co-founder of our Pennsylvania Fan Club.
Why do you always compete for good and bad?One of the songs we use to accompany our voices is the theme song to The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. When that song begins, it's like calling shotgun. Not just that, but it's fun to leave various other staff members as ugly.
Why is your weather thing so long?Because God made it that way. Thank you for noticing. Since news shows have gone overboard to impress you with their weather, we thought we should too. Lee first started this silly business at WNPT-AM in the late eighties with a "color radar" forecast. Thought he was so clever.
What makes you think you're so good? Mom said it was so...
Is Wolfe your real name?Wolfe: Abso-friggin'-lutely! Mom and Dad have a rich, Native-American heritage. With a hint of French or Scottish or something.
Lee: No, my name is Lee.
How do y'all think of all that stuff?Lee: How can you not think of all this stuff?
Wolfe: How can you go through your day without thinking about how to be a Muppet Redneck? Has it ever dawned on you that you could have voted for Colon Bowell? Oh, and contrary to popular belief, being completely free of drugs and alcohol helps tremendously.
How do you hook up a band?We know some girls that frequent local street corners. Down south, they're good and clean. In addition to that, they're quite good-looking. In any event, we have some pull in the community and we let the bands in on it. End of story.
Explain the Pythagorean Theorem to me.We're DJ's, not ministers.
Do you ever score with strippers?No. But Lee's friend, Phil, gets quite a lot of action in that field. For more about Lee's friend Phil, please read "Lee's Friend Phil, In His Own Words."
Do you really have interns?No. We have intern droids. They sound just like real interns, but without all of that backtalk.
Why can't I hear your station at my house?It's a 120 watt transmitting blowtorch. You might just be able to tune it in if you are driving past the tower as the signal drips onto your antenna.
main page