There was a Pope who was greatly loved by all of his followers, a man who led with gentleness, faith and wisdom. His passing was grieved by the entire world, Catholic or not. As the Pope approached the gates of heaven it was Saint Peter who greeted him in a firm embrace. "Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man during your life has earned you great stature in heaven. You may pass through the gates without delay and are granted free access to all parts of heaven." "You are also granted an open door policy and may at your own discretion meet with any heavenly leader, including the Father without prior appointment." "Is there anything which your holiness desires?" "Well yes," the Pope replied, "I have often pondered some of the mysteries which have puzzled and confounded theologians through the ages. Are there perhaps any transcripts which recorded the actual conversations between God and the prophets of old?" "I would love to see what was actually said, without the dimming of memories over time." Saint Peter immediately ushered the Pope to the heavenly library and explained how to retrieve the various documents using Nexus-Lexus. The Pope was thrilled and settled down to review the history of man's relationship with God. Two years later a scream of anguish pierced the stacks of the library. Immediately several of the Saints and Angels came running to the Pope's side to learn the cause of his dismay. There they found the Pope pointing to a single word on a parchment, repeating over and over, "There's an `R', There's an `R' ..." The word was "celibrate."
Note from Lee: I realized after copying this from my e-mail collection to the website, that celebrate also has an "e" instead of an "i," and that a literate Pope
would certainly notice that too. But then the joke wouldn't be as funny. But then, how funny is it when semi-literate people write a joke? Then again, maybe
since the Pope isn't English (for obvious reasons), he wouldn't notice that additional misspelling. We should probably blame it on lawyers, since that's who
uses Lexis/Nexis, which is also misspelled. Nexus-Lexus is a new luxury car shampoo I think. And what kind of Lexis/Nexis printer uses parchment?
Oh, hell, never mind!
main page