THE LEE & WOLFE E-MAIL FUN-O-RAMA #6
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Info from America's #1 College Radio Show*
http://law.fm.net
12:01 am, April 16, 1998 A.D.
"Tickling your inbox since 9:00 pm, March 10, 1998 A.D."
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THE LATEST IN LEE & WOLFE NEWS:
Don’t miss the upcoming show info below, including Brother Jim!!
"Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Us"
Deep, dark depression, excessive miserus. If it weren’t for bad luck, we’d have no luck at all; gloom, despair, and agony on us. O.k. everyone, boo-hoo along with us. WRAX hired a guy named "Beaner." Oh, sure, it’s bad enough to be completely ignored after all the hard work of fans like you writing letters, along with other broadcasting folks and even our mayor. But to be passed over for a bean! Ouch. And then... Heckler’s Online. DEE-NIED! Ouchie. To get them all back, we’ve threatened to dress in lingerie, write their names in lipstick on the bathroom mirror, then slit our wrists in the tub.
But seriously folks, our efforts to employ ourselves continues unabated, and we’re only sorry that so many of you went out of your way to write WRAX. It was a special case being so close to home, and we truly appreciate your efforts. Some have asked if there was any way they could help us in the future. Well, if you wish, you can write us recommendation / testimonial addressed to "Radio Person", and we’ll compile a packet for general use in the upcoming Grand Mass Mailing of ’98. Otherwise, we just like the moral support. Oh, and we added all the WRAX staff to this mailing list. Heh.
Our next project is a radio station in North Alabama. We’ve applied and been told by the program director that we’re in "the short stack." We believe this is something like the "short school bus," and therefore makes us very special, in a very special way. I’m not saying anything more about it, to avoid a jinx.
"Intern Heather May Already Be 69 Cents Richer"
This FanZine is being written on the night all U.S. taxes are due. Most poor folks like us get refunds of all the money we paid in during the year, at least for the federal government. In Alabama, we apparently define rich at around $3400 per year, so weird things happen with state taxes. For example, Intern Heather has informed us that according to her calculations, she is owed $0.69 from the state of Alabama, and she will spend $0.32 to mail her return, forcing them to write her a check. We plan to ride with her to the bank, and cash it in the drive-thru. By the end of the evening, with all that spare cash, we’ll all be smashed, assuming we drain most of our blood and share part of one beer.
"Wolfe Plays with Dick / Watch Your Local College Papers"
By the end of the upcoming weekend, he should be through. He’s using country music to set the mood, and dropping in stuff where it seems appropriate. That’s right, The Mixmaster General of the United States of America is creating a country music dance mix for Dick Sutliff, news man on overnights at WGN AM 720 in Chicago. Remember Wednesday Night Fever for Steve and Johnnie? [
http://v91.simplenet.com/leewolfe/picpages/pxinnews/wgn.htm ] Get your line dancin’ shoes on! And as far as your local college paper is concerned, remember that next week sometime, the article written by Caryn Rousseau concerning us and college radio in general is due to be posted on their website (we’ll give you the URL when we get it) and distributed over a national college newswire to over 400 colleges the week after that. Some may even print it! Keep an eye out, and let us know if you see one printed.
COMING UP ON THE SHOW:
"Band-wise"
Playing and talking in the 7 o’clock hour this week: Debbie Bond and the Kokomo Blues Band! Female lead? Oh, yeah. And she’s gotten quite a bit of attention lately. You can read about her in a recent Crimson White article from last week [
http://www.cw.ua.edu/quad/blues4-8.html ]. Also visit her official website at [ http://web.dbtech.net/~mcrocken/hub.html ]. We’ll talk about everything from Alabama blues to her recent European tour. She’s practically David Hasselhoff!"Jesus-wise, Again"
Hope you had a happy Easter, and are ready for more religious controversy? Remember Brother Jim we mentioned last week? The traveling evangelist preacher who has made a career of going from college to college across the country, and warning of the evils of fornication, masturbation, homosexuality, and women’s liberation, will be joining us via telephone Friday after the entertainment news. Would YOU like to participate? E-mail your questions for Brother Jim to us before Friday at noon. "Am I going to hell for all my wankin’?" "Does your 6 year old watch Barney, the true Antichrist?" "Can God make a rock so big even God can’t lift it?" "How exactly did you find the Lord at a Van Halen concert?" He says he did. Let’s hear those questions. DO NOT miss this interview.
"Other-wise"
We love to get tapes from folks as well as e-mail. If you’re in a band, or do comedy, or just want to give an audio hello, send us something! We recently received a tape from The Forgotten Art of Radio Theatre group out of Houston, Texas.
ON THE WEBSITE:
"Jokes, Jokes, Jokes"
New jokes sent to us have been added to the E-mail funnies part of the comedy section of the website. You know you’re sick of forwarding and receiving forwarded jokes, so just point folks to [
http://v91.simplenet.com/leewolfe/comedy/e_funnys.htm ]. You simply HAVE to read the one titled "Elephant Syndrome." Send us your favorites."F.A.Q."
Q: Do you guys have a Frequently Asked Questions page? A: Yes. [
http://v91.simplenet.com/leewolfe/faq.htm ]
THE STRANGEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE:
Speaking of the Antichrist and David Hasselhoff, did you know David Hasselhoff IS the Antichrist? No kidding, and I found someone with the proof at [
http://www.indirect.com/www/warren/baywatch.html ]. There’s something really scary about a person that would spend any portion of their life creating a website devoted only to the Mr. Peepers character from Saturday Night Live. [ http://www.nlenx.com/spam/Snl/Peepers/index.htm ] The animated .gif at the bottom of the page is what really qualifies this for "The Strangest." And finally, boogers. First, celebrate boogers by enjoying some booger cartoons [ http://www.funet.fi/index/DoctorFun/bac-archive-1.htm ]. Then read booger survey results at [ http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/nose/nose.html ]. Not enough? O.k., play a good booger flickin’ game with the Booger Board, available in "high-quality brush gold aluminum" [ http://www.boogerboard.com ]. Need more technical info on Rhinotillexomania (that’s what nasal excavation is called)? Try this technical paper at [ http://www.fairlite.com/trich/abstracts/tr005.shtml ]. If you make it through all that, join the International Association of Nose Pickers. You deserve it. You’ve earned it. [ http://members.aol.com/nosefruit1/nose.fruit.html ]We’re sorry. It’s been a weird week.
Thanks to you all for reading, listening, picking, and writing...
Lee O.
Self-Proclaimed DJ
Lee & Wolfe, America's #1 College Radio Show
http://law.fm.net
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*According to the National Association of College Broadcasters--we ain't just makin' that up...