THE LEE & WOLFE E-MAIL FUN-O-RAMA #14

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Info from America's #1 College Radio Show*

2:25 am, August 14, 1998 A.D.

"Tickling your inbox since 9:00 pm, March 10, 1998 A.D."

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THE LATEST IN LEE & WOLFE NEWS:

((This issue: Alien vegetables, all we are is Dust on the show, marriage realities and more - see below.))

"No Really, I'm Married" - A Special Section by Wolfe

Up until recently, Lee and I lived together in professional bliss. We knew precisely where all of the equipment was, and showing up for work was effortless. People had clever nicknames for our place like, "The Den of Iniquity" or "The Lee & Wolfe Palatial Dungeon of Luv." Well, now that's all been blown to hell by one shifty intern and her womanly ways. She had to be all cute and cuddly, bat her eyes and make me marry her! Yep, no joke, we're married. One minute I'm going over her internship application at Lee & Wolfe headquarters. Next thing you know, BANG (so to speak)! Our honeymoon was not uneventful. We decided to travel far away to the sunny shores of tropical Birmingham, Alabama. We stayed at a luxurious and exotic Days Inn just south of town. After dinner that night, sex! The next day, we visited the Birmingham Zoo, where I learned for the first time to my great disappointment that wolves smell really bad. They piss to mark their territories and it is RANK. That night, more sex. This was shortly followed by a power outage caused by a freak lightning storm, or maybe sex. Well, great. We moved to a HoJo. Then we went to a science museum, featuring an Imax theater. They were showing "Everest." Despite the lack of sex, it was a wonderful show. I recommend it. But the museum itself was overrun with children and therefore intolerable. That night, despite witnessing the realities of children, even more sex. Civil rights museum the next day; nothing interesting to me. And that's about it. In my view, we wasted valuable sex time on the meager sights of Birmingham. Don't let this happen to you, folks. You only get one true honeymoon. Go somewhere boring and stay in the hotel the whole time. Snatch up some postcards for the folks back home and make sure your stories match up. Look for pictures on the website soon! We now return you to the newsletter already in progress...

... and so Wolfe comes out of the VIP room where the lap dance took place, and says to me, with a big grin on his face, "buy that!!!" I thought, yeah, the Platinum Club was a great idea for a classic bachelor party, and then suggested to the guys that we pay two girls at once for a table dance. Wow. Watching Engineer Nick's face when that one girl, well, ...you get the idea. Zowie!

"Some People Are Calling It the Alien Child"

"Other News"

If you like more complicated connectivity, we also suggest Microsoft NetMeeting for chatting, file transfer, program sharing, as well as audio and video transmission. Very, VERY cool. E-mail us and we'll tell you more about it.

ON THE SHOW:

"Band-wise"

Today, Friday, August 14th, Birmingham hardcore / alternative rock band Dust will be on the show to perform live and be subjected to the "Liquor Store Bag of Questions," around 7pm. They promise to be loud, and I believe them. Be sure to tune in / log on this Friday and listen. Call, e-mail, or "instant message" us and the band, since we will be online a good bit during the show.

"Other-wise"

Last week, we offered up the used recliner of Intern Heather. Big and comfy, but slightly cat worn, it was looking for a loving home. Free. Just come get it, we said. First caller interested wins. Well, someone called quickly and was happy to get it, until she really discussed it with her hubby. See how complicated marriage is? So she once again has it available. If you can come get it, you can have it. Nothing wrong with it that a little recovering and fluffing up couldn't fix. Let us know.

ON THE WEBSITE:

"Video Once Again"

THE STRANGEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE:

Thanks again to all of you for reading, listening, writing, and generally taking an interest in our pathetic lives...

Lee Overstreet, Esq.

Self-Proclaimed DJ

Lee & Wolfe, America's #1 College Radio Show

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*According to the National Association of College Broadcasters--we ain't just makin' that up...